.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
