he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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