he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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