Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
