you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
