A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need moral support for this bender
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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