what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
