When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You took a bar mat shot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
