what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
