I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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