dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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