If i come over, it means nothing
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
