You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
