But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
