I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize