Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
