My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
