is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What a dumb baby whore.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
