I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
