He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
