just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
