i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
