I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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