the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
