i think my mom watched the whole time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
