She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
