so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
