hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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