thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
