I hate your face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
