If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
