I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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