Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
