so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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