dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
