I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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