At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
