I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
