I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
