Small penises have feelings too.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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