i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
