My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
