This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In America we eat man semen.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize