No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
