here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
