So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
