spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
