i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
