I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
