Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
