i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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