I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
