oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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