I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im holly from the hills drunk
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
