I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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