Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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