So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
