i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
